Sunday, 12 May 2019

Mother's Day Madness

I'm sitting in my kitchen reflecting on the last year of my life, my first year of parenthood, with a completely new perspective. Mother's Day, for me, had always been a time to show my mom that I appreciate her. This was easy for my brothers and I, because my mom (now an empty nester) was truly the best mom there was. I honestly don't understand how she did it.

A single mom of three boys who literally dedicated her life to raising them, every single decision she made, was with us in mind. No matter what we broke, no matter how poorly we did in school, what car we crashed, or how bad we screwed up, she was there for us - in the different way that each of us needed her to be in each individual situation. She was a tutor, a psychic, a security guard, an advocate, a lawyer, an accountant, a nurse, a counsellor, a teacher, a judge, a jury, and an executioner. Many of these jobs she continues to perform to this day, despite her children being "grown ass men who can take care of themselves". She has never stopped being a parent, and never will.

Having a mother, and watching your partner be a mother, however, are two wildly different things. I get to see the sacrifices first hand, something my own mother never talked about, or complained about, something Kay never would either. The reason she never would, is because despite the toll parenthood has taken on her body, her health, her sleep, her career, her bank account, her social life, and her sanity, she loves our son more than she loves herself or anybody else. 

Kay is an incredible mom who is always there for her son. She knows what it means to be a mother and she takes it to heart. She is constantly terrified something bad will happen to him, which makes her an incredible protector. But, despite her fear, she understands that sometimes she'll have to let him fall so that he'll learn to get back up on his own - which is truly the hardest thing about being a parent. Knowing that at some point they'll be bullied, that their heart will break, that they will get hurt and injured, that they'll feel small, or that they'll be sad. Kay can't prevent these things from happening any more than she can prevent lightning, but she will always be there to guide him through it.

Seeing Kay do what she does best, makes me infinitely proud that she is the mother of our son, and simultaneously makes me appreciate my own mother more than words can express. So to Kay, and my own mother, and to my mother(s) in law - on behalf of your sons and your daughters I'd like to thank you for always being there, for doing what you needed to do, for the sacrifices you made (and continue to make) for your children. We may not always express our gratitude, but you should know, that we know, we literally wouldn't be here without you.

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